My Poems

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A Mother's Rage

(Dedicated to all the mothers of child-soldiers) 

I saw him lying on a slab
I could not recognise
His once sweet face
His head was smashed
His legs were broken,
His guts spilled out,
A broken doll -
Bruised, bleeding and battered.

They took him away from home
One day in the middle of December.
Days, weeks and months went by
I waited and waited.

One day in May a letter came
“I’m sorry I’ve not written, Mum,
Don’t worry, I’m ok
Not much to eat,
It’s a hard life but I’ll get by
I don’t get beaten too often now.
I’ll send you money next payday.
They keep us very busy
From dawn to dusk -
(Training, marching, fighting, killing)
I’ll write you again soon.”

Days went by,
Weeks went by,
A year went by,
I waited, and waited.

Until one day last July.
A letter came from the hospital,
“We are sorry, your son is dead”

I did not understand,
How could that be?
He was a happy, healthy growing lad,
Good to everyone and 
They all loved him
He was a ray of sunlight
Touching our hearts,
Giving us hope.

They said:
“The cause of death was
Internal and external injuries",
And that, his last words were:
“Mum, I love you, please forgive me!”

Oh son, son, son! -
WHY did you have to suffer so?

He was 11 years old
The day he was taken away
How can I ever understand
What they did to him
How can I ever get over
The heartache of losing him,
The one I gave life to,
The one who was my life?

“Life is always fair” you say,
“Justice will be done”

Are those words meant to comfort me?
Are those words meant to give me hope?
I don’t need your bloody empty words!
I don’t need your bloody sympathy!
I don’t need your patronising words!
I don’t need your pious simpering smiles!

This is MY SON you are talking about,
He was a part of me -
I bled with him when he bled,
I died with him when he died.

How can I ever begin to think
That life is EVER fair?

Life will never be fair
As far as I know
Not even when
I can feel
The regime’s blood
On my hands.

And justice,
Justice will be done
Only when
The rage and anger of this mother
Is completely sated.

Feraya

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